This update is dedicated to Max, the other reader of my b10g.

Mom - don't get too excited. This is old news because I've got nothing else for you. And no, my package isn't here yet.

Every week we receive an email and/or fax known as the “Sunday Letter,” which in the true spirit of all things Israeli, generally tends to arrive on Mondays. It’s basically a security update and reminder of upcoming seminars and hikes or whatever, plus birthday shout-outs and little blurbs about what everyone’s up to in their individual partnership cities. We were asked to write up a paragraph about the happenings in our neck of the woods, so I volunteered to take one for the team. Here’s what I submitted:
“We, the lovely ladies of Qiryat Shemona, are proud to report that we are thoroughly enjoying ourselves here in this quiet border town just a ‘stone’s throw’ away from our friendly neighbors to the north. The last several weeks have been entirely productive, as we have each devoted ourselves to saving the world through our volunteer work at the local middle and high schools, Hafuch al Hafuch (drop-in center for youth at risk), Tel Hai College, Ayelim (urban village for college students), Magen David Adom, Atidim, and an elderly home, as well as putting in hours of quality time at the neighborhood gym. The community has welcomed us in with the warmest hearts despite the frigid mountain climate, and I think I speak for all of us when I say it is truly uplifting to be able to make such a significant contribution to the region after the events of this past summer. The air in Qiryat Shemona is saturated with the crisp scent of determination to rebuild and move on, as well as the refreshing taste of gratitude for all the generous volunteers from all over the world. Our apartments in the Tel Hai dormitories have more couches and floor space than we know what to do with, and we’d love to host anyone who hasn’t yet had the privilege of experiencing an action-packed weekend in our new home.
--- Elise, Helen, Miriam, Rachel, and Shana”
I waited and waited, but much to my dismay, my update never appeared in the Sunday Letter. When I saw my madrichot at the seminar this past weekend, I asked them mah carah.
Shana: Soooo, when are you going to publish that update I sent you for the Sunday Letter?
Meara: Oh, we already sent those out to the federations in the States.
Shana: Shit fire son of a bitch mother fucker!
Meara: Don’t worry, we edited yours.
By the way, the federation is responsible for $3000 of the tuition for Otzma, plus an additional $400 stipend that they gave each of us for being totally awesome. Sweet lord, at least I didn’t write anything about being VIPs at the local kibbutz bar.